" So you sweet-talk your neighbor's wife and she's figured out a way to feel less guilty." True. Except for the part where I sweet-talked my neighbor's wife." This was HER idea?" Yes. Lee, you can't tell ... She doesn't need to be hurt. Neither does Ted. All it would do is hurt them. I'm just a step up from masturbation." I know about masturbation. That's a BIG step. And where's Lane in all this talk about who gets hurt?" She snorted. "Oh, wait a minute." Her face took on a horrid look." Gramma says 'be careful. A stiff dick has no conscience.' As long as you get yours..." I used to be like that, Lee. And why in hell am I telling YOU this?" That 'friend' thing, remember. Or maybe it's 'mentor'. But that's all on really shaky ground right now." Anyhow, Miss Sarcasm, I used to be like that. I stopped a long time ago. I didn't start this..." Oh, yeah, I knowwwww. There you were, working in your yard, an' Sherry came chargin' out with a club and bonked you on the head an' dragged you into. We’re both too raw right now.”I saw a little spark of hope in his eyes when he nodded. “You’re right. If we did anything now we’d just be trying to fill the hole Sam left.”“Exactly.” By putting my fear into words, he helped to banish it a little. I stood on my toes to kiss his cheek. “Thanks again for checking on me. I’ll see you around.”“I’ll be looking for you,” he said with a sad smile.The rest of the day was a mix of ordinary boredom and crushing pain. I sat with Bethany at lunch. We continued to search for a way back to something like friendship. Joe came by long enough to check on me, then left me to go our afternoon classes. I saw Mark a couple of times, but he just avoided my eyes.When I got back home I was exhausted. I skipped dinner to go to sleep instead. That was the first night I didn’t dream I was in the plane with Sam while it fell forever and never hit the ground. When I woke early, my back hurt from sleeping in the same position all night. I stared at the ceiling.
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